Sunday afternoon --a random post

Blessed cherubs:

It's raining outside and I'm glad, because we needed the rain. However, the rain causes me to turn inward, as I am wont to do these days, to consider several things.

I am considering whether I am becoming angrier than in days past. I am considering whether I think corporate America can ever be an organization that I want to be part of. I am considering whether or not to "retreat" to academia.

I believe I mentioned before that I went to hear Noam Chomsky recently. This man stirred a nerve that I had buried deeply inside me since I went to Seabrook back in the 1970s. Even back then, I chickened out, I chose to come back to UMass, take my exams and graduate. Several members of that protest begged me to stay. They accused me of being a "fair weather" protester. Perhaps I was a fair weather protester. But I was also a person interested in becoming a person. Hah! And so why must there always be a choice?

I have buried myself as a wife, buried myself as a mother, and buried myself as a corporate laborer. Recently, I have slowly climbed out of that pit that I was buried in. And now, I wonder if there is any place for an observing, progressive liberal intellectual like me.

The president that I wanted, is in the White House. The Congress that I elected is in the Capital. Why, then, am I still so worried?

I am worried because I am concerned that the thinking that must be done, is not being done. Now don't get me wrong. President Obama is doing the thinking I have no worries about that. Congress, well Congress has always been out of control, and the House will be mitigated by the Senate, as the plan has always been. It's important that we understand that our founders had that right. The House will put forward an inappropriate bill to tax the AIG bonuses, and the bill will be defeated in the Senate. This is as it should be.

But the thinking that I'm talking about is more of a self examination. Will Americans examine their way of life and find it wanting, and implement the change?

Will Americans embrace the good of all, over the good of the few?

I think not.

I think they will patiently wait until they can get the credit they think they deserve, and then, they will continue to borrow indiscriminently, and not save anything.

Sigh.

Now I'm not preaching here, because I struggle with all these things. I love my cell phone. I love the fact that I can reach my daughter at anytime to know that she is ok. I have not canceled cable TV, I like the On Demand feature and use it more than viewing network television. I don't like owning a home, but appreciate that when I was married, we could borrow against it to make necessary repairs. But I also confess to you that I can't wait until we can sell it because it feels like an albatross around my neck.

But I have also thought about doing some things I might not have thought about doing, before this melt down. I have thought about soliciting for a roommate. I have thought about sending MORE money not less but MORE money to my 401(k). I have canceled some little luxuries. I have joined a health club, but closed down a coffee club membership and my Zoots membership which I frankly, really adored. I am not sure if I am part of the problem. But this whole thing had caused me to think about my priorities and I guess frankly, that's a good thing.

Is there a place for me as an observant, progressive liberal? I certainly hope that there is. There's certainly more opportunities that there were before. But I find my self arguing more than ever with my conservative friends. They are angry. Ok now, it's our turn. Perhaps soon, you can say that we blew it. But not yet, my friends, not yet. President Obama has not yet had enough time to blow it. Let's just try to give him a chance to fix this mess.

So I say to my conservative friends at this time, the soap box is NOT yours. Try as best you can to adapt to this change, and try to have some respect for the other point of view. After all, the "other" point of view is now in power. You're done for now. Get over it, and try to listen more than talk. That's the wisdom of the age. Listen.

Blessed Be, sweet cherubs.